“Darkest souls of light”

Inspired by a gentle soul’s struggles who never ceases to look for hope. Even in places where there might be none,  that’s what it means to have inner strength.  Strength comes first of all from the willingness to never give up and keep trying.  I hear, read and see the flutter of wings tirelessly beating for freedom and constant search for the truth. What ever the truth is, the challenge is never to stop searching for it. If earnest, the path becomes the truth.

harsh were the words said by her stare
so drenched in dark and sick despair
so rang her silent cry, I swear
I heard hearts breaking everywhere

and what the pain, the scars ran deep
stirring the dead, the dreamless sleep
and what the paths beyond her leap
was ever the price of faith that steep?

yet bruised her gentle eyes go bright
when weakest hands pray for the might
to rise in tides from fallen height
to love the darkest souls of light

– Written by my brother, Shan.


Behind the times…

I must say it hasn’t been a very exciting year for Season 2 of the Muslimventures. Life has slowly been taking more of my time away from my ability to write insightful, mostly interesting and culturally stimulating word heaps on this here Blog, I am afraid, which is not all that bad, but still a thing that happened..and is still happening..right now..even..not really, I am writing right now. So much has happened and changed. I already wrote this post once before but then I somehow managed to delete my text, since I am a clumsy fool. I forgot how to use this damn page, which is proof of my increasing years, yet decreasing  intelligence and wisdom. So much has changed since my last blog entry. Kids and stuff. I just married my second wife Mugambata Wiferazi after convincing my first wife Babehadj Maktulladi, now we are all like one happy family. We even share the same bed (not at the same time though, that’s not kosher). I have been quite busy the past few months too. Not to brag or anything, but I wrote tons of novels, cleaned up a few beaches, I traveled the globe on the back of a kangaroo, I also helped to invent an electronic device – maybe you’ve heard of it, Ipad 2? Or is that old news…? No big deal, though…. Okay, fine, I’m going to be dead honest, I didn’t do any of those things. In fact I hardly even got my lazy bottom out of bed. I’m not sure why I lied to you like that. Alright, I do, but I won’t tell you, because if I told you why I won’t tell you now, I might as well have told you in the first place. I am so behind the times now…allow me to catch up… Ramadan Mubarik and I hope you had a glorious time and Eid Mubarik to you and your family…Following are strange pictures.
2013-10-15 10.28.49
Which reminds me of when white people try to hug you…
Which I am sure that’s how YOU ALL REACT, RIGHT?
Anyways, I will be back soon before 2015 so stay tuned my fellow blogsters. I will continue where I left off and share my trip to the Pakistans, IF I SURVIVE. But before I finish I have to share something I saw last night. I was watching the most awesomest of movies. It was indian and I was about to go to sleep when I saw it. I did understand most of it, but I wasn’t paying too much attention. Some things did stand out though when they kept using English words and sentences. So it would go like habala olaa ohh babyyy main tenu pyar karda hablabla IT IS OKAY shallalala haloo baloo THANK YOO. Was the most awesome thing I have ever seen. There were random closeups with intimidating and convincing facial expressions (with a lot of make up) and nerve wrecking music. The villain even had his own theme tune which went like AIAAIAIAAIAIAIAIAIAIIAIIAA. He was also petting a tiger which roared even though you could clearly see, that he didn’t move one bit. Really…that was one hell of a movie. I am sure some of my readers know what I am talking about here and if you do not, you should watch more Indian movies. Only the good ones though, not the singing ones, they are unacceptable.


Muslimventures S2: II

Well this is awkward. I had to read my earlier post from 8 months ago to see what happened last time. I even forgot how to navigate myself through the menu page, like the old man I am slowy becoming. I can understand that my absence must have been a tad bit frustrating and you are right to be enraged or depressed or you simply don’t give a crap. But I did not forget you lovely peopleyou are like familiain a wayeven though I was gone 8 months, hence, I am here now to share my never-ending adventure and struggles of my terrible life.  Since last time a lot has happened and I don’t know where to start.

But first things firstMerry Christmas and a Happy New Yearfor you folksI know it has been a while, but still. Hope you all managed the transition to the new year well, I can’t even recall what I did. Probably sitting at home, playing computer games online like a dork.

I’ll attempt to speed up the story of the last 5 months in 2013. You may not remember, but there was agay personwho had moved in back then? My roommate “Iqbal” (Reminder: Although he is no desi guy, but his hairdo does qualify him for being a proper Iqbalhad told me stories yet he had never met him himself. That made me treat the new guy like a gay person, so that whenever the guy was around I would quietly and with my ninja-like moves sneak in and out of my room to avoid further exposure. I might get burned on sight. Once I even crawled on the ceiling like a spidermonkey. Sometimes he caught me in the hallway and then started talking. I would fiddle around on my phone and give him bland replies (you might remember that from my girly years), but over time I started listening. I started to suspect thathe might not be gay after all. He did nothing that reminds you of a homosexual (wow, am I not open minded right here ? Stereotyping much). He did have blond streaks which is like a stereotype thingy, but this guy was into mechanics and industry and all, which gay people clearly aren’t. They are only into fashion and politics. He said and did things that didn’t strike me as gay. It went on like this for 2-3 months since he was barely around and he had strange habits. He name-tagged all his stuff in the kitchen. Everything from milk to noodles-in-a-cup products.  I eventually asked “Iqbal” if he had played a prank on me which he did. I felt like such a fool thinking I fell for that and honestly it would have probably been a good story to develop on this blog. Imagine the possibilitiesthere could have been stories to tell for years. My blog is already in shambles! Oh, how I miss the exciting world of girldom, the threat of the female in it’s natural habitat. Anyhow, this guy moved out shortly because he couldn’t pay his rent and was never around anyway. As he moves outanother guy moves in. He was not gay. But he was never around either. We spoke a few times and he told me his girlfriend lives nearby so he stays with her 95% of the time.

I don’t know how these people can waste so much time and money moving in and out of places. At the same time, “Iqbal” found a new girlfriend, who decided to move in HERE with him in a DORM. There’s not a whole lot of space, and again I don’t understand why not get a place of their own if they want to play house?! She doesn’t work and he barely goes to class, most nights they are up until 3-4 am and playing games, watching movies and what not. It seems really dull and boring for a couple if you ask me. If I had a wife we would do proper thingsMuslim thingsI assumeWe’d do halal dinners and watch halal programs and do halalstuffand do haram things at night. Since they spend most of their time in a small room, it’s not very varied! They do the same shit over which even makes me annoyed for some reason. They annoy me because they are so boring. I can be pessimistic sometimes, but in a realistic way I think (but I am probably wrong). I personally think they won’t last cuz Iqbal is such a dominant figure and gets loud and aggressive at times and she is careful like a mouse and drawn back. He’s 29 and she’s 21 and I know some people say age doesn’t matter, but in my opinion I think it does in some cases like this one. I know some just say that to say it without even thinking why\why not. This gets worse later and I will get back to that.

Besides all this, my absence is mostly caused by my studies and lack of will to blog. I spent a lot of time on here following other blogs. I had to direct that attention to other things during that period.I will gradually get back to this and actively start blogging again. I shall continue next time, we are around December now in this storyline. There hasn’t been a lot of development since I am still stuck where I am, but we shall see. I did, however, have a small vacation during my Christmas break to Qatar\Pakistan. That was my first visit after 7 years and goshthings that happened. Unspeakable horrors. I will get back to that. Have a great weekend folks and hope you are all doing well! And if notthen do something about it.

I tried to find Him on the Christian cross, but He was not there;
I went to the temple of the Hindus and to the old pagodas,
but I could not find a trace of Him anywhere…
I searched on the mountains and in the valleys
but neither in the heights nor in the depths was I able to find Him.
I went to the Ka’bah in Mecca, but He was not there either…
I questioned the scholars and philosophers but He was beyond their understanding…
Then I looked into my heart and it was there
where He dwelled that I saw Him,
He was nowhere else to be found.

– Rumi


Muslimventures Season 2: in a Mad, Mad world…

I moved into my new apartment just 5 days before my final exam. The guy who was already staying there  (let’s just call him Iqbal, even though he’s not really a desi guy, but his hairdo does qualify him for being a proper Iqbal), is a few years older than me and luckily for me, he just finished my line of study and is doing another 2 years in a different field. He may be resourceful and so far he has been very welcoming and open with me. He’s actually from a place near my hometown, we easily became friends and had a common sense of respect and the idea of teamwork to make a good living environment, in which we both can feel comfortable and organized (you know how such things are, at least I pray he won’t change into a girl overnight and make me rue the day I switched places). I like that, that is something I REALLY missed with the previous “roommate”. He’s sophisticated and direct, serious if he has to be but he’s also the joking kind of guy who likes to mess around. He’s like a dawg. Iqbal actually has cool things to talk about, there’s a point to it and not just random squabbling with no end. I can actually debate and have discussions with him without it involving dogs or mambo jumbo (unless I bring it up, as I always do, because my favorite topics include mambo jumbo..unless it’s forced upon me). He likes to play games and watch movies every now and then, and invites me along to join him or even share a meal. He’s really a good guy and understands my need for halal food as well. He has this giant freezer which I am free to store my own food in. He’s like the real roommate material. My previous roommate pretty much excluded me from activities like that because I was different.  I don’t know how I even managed to live with her that whole time. It might have been down to my mental strength. Or not. The new landlords live just right above, a small family with a dog and they are not noisy at all. They have been very kind to me. I asked them if I could pay less over the summer as I won’t be using any electricity which they didn’t mind! The lady has often come by just to talk and shared like personal information regarding her relatives and other issues. I guess she opened up with me quickly. She talked about her own family and that she has a daughter who stayed in India a few months. I think she was trying to impress me, she felt like an aunty who’s looking for a rishta right there. Overall, just over the course of 5 days I had a very refreshing start there just before my vacation. 5 days beat the 8-9 months I spent with that GIRL. Let’s hope I won’t miss the fun I had in that place and get complacent and happy.  Rent is much better than the previous place, as well as the facilities (after I moved out from there, the landlord increased the rent uhuhu?! I saw the girl advertising for it on this Facebook page for apartments on rent etc). There’s actually a jacuuzi there too!! The daughter of the house uses it sometimesmaybe there might be a little bollywood connection there, eh? Kuch kuch to hoga maybe? Balle balle. Still, better not get involved with a girl again so soon, you never know how it can turn out (I actually do now).

Me and Iqbal exchanged conversations over the summer break, keeping each other updated on comings and goings etc. We talked about who the 3rd person might be if anyone moves in. I was hoping it would be a girl (?!?! Really ?), to counter balance the strong male domination in the happy household of lovable guys. I don’t know about 3 guys, it’s kindagay, no? Conversational wise I’d think it would add a nice touch, unless it bogs down to what I already experienced before then I would use Iqbal as a human shield (he’s massive too) to block the mad ravings before they reach my ears. Iqbal texted the landlady, asking if anyone else had moved in yet. He then told me, that some gay dude moved in with us. I started cracking up and thought he was jokingha hahahaahgood oneheheheit was a good one, right? IQBAL? Are you serious? He goes “Yes”. My jaw dropped and went through the floor and my eyeballs came popping out of my sockets. No offense to homosexuals, I don’t have anything against your way of life, I just didn’t think I’d have to live room to ROOM WITH ONE. BUT WHAT? 3 GUYS sharing the same apartment kinda got gay now didn’t it? I might be overreacting a tad, he might be a nicegau…gug…uuuuy I hope I don’t have to wake up in the morning to see his makeup hour. He could be running around naked!? I don’t wanna have to deal with over sensitive dramas of a guy.  There is already one of those in my class. What if he develops some kind of a man crush on me? OR IS HE GOING TO BRING a boyfriend over? “Why Hello, Fernando, nice to meet y–don’t TOUCH MY HAND!!” I almost DARE to say the girl might have been better. MIGHT!! But I have Iqbal there to keep it cool I am even too afraid to share this with my mom now or anyone else. What the hell would I say? What do you think they’d say? “ASTAGHFURULLAH, NAUZOBILLAH, u were better off living with that girl”. God is really testing my limits here now. This blog should now be called Muslim in Gay Trouble instead. How convenient, I don’t even need to change any of the letters, as if it was meant to happen. I still have 10 days left before college starts and I go back next week. But it remains to be seen, let’s hope for the best and let’s try to show some acceptance towards others as they do onto me. For I am also glad to not be stereotyped as a Muslim, so I will have to try my , um, best to do extend my hand in friendship to others as well, be they as they may.