Muslimventures: III

I am sorry but I am still alive and made it through the neck of pain and am back in good shape – but still recovering. Since I am writing these parts from flashbacks like a Vietnam story and relive it all in my dreams in shapes of nightmares and the bunny from Donnie Darko, it takes a little while before I really get into it. I might be doing a short book review later this week as well.

Now on the Muslimventures…

Everyday Challenges

It’s the first time I moved out so this is a whole new setting for me. Having to cook, to clean and do laundry (don’t worry ladies, I don’t mind this stuff now) and the dishes. One day I will most certainly make a good wife. Nor I or the girl had any set of ground rules or any agreements, it was like… Okay, you clean up after yourself and I’ll do my own cleaning and use common sense. I pay the rent to her so I expected something at least but whatever. Since I moved to a damn village, there’s no halal food available and I didn’t bring any from home since I had too much stuff with me already. I had to live with fish, noodles, pasta sorts and bread for a good number of weeks. I don’t know how vegetarians can manage, but it’s not easy for a hungry lion like me. Damn I love chicken and I miss it like a fat kid misses his haddi (bone). Bread is quite the thing around here; bread for breakfast, for brunch, second brunch, lunch, dinner, supper and midnight snack basically. People around here don’t eat anything else and I honestly can’t take that. They even put bread on their bread, what a horrible overload of grain and flour. The girl was no good cook I had to realize. She mostly eats instant pizza and porridge of all things. I got annoyed just by her eating habits. This was the least of my worries though, a big challenge was the freaking Lota (Lota; I’m not even going to bother explaining this myself so click the link) man. I didn’t really have one, so I had to suffice with a Coke bottle. Which I have to smuggle in and out of the bathroom every time – I keep it hidden in my closet. It can look very wrong if discovered or if I was caught with it. This is a hard life. Sometimes I even forget to bring it and that’s… not pleasant – you KNOW YOU HAVE  all been there. And if not, then don’t try to picture it, even if you want to…DO NOT. Sometimes, she would wear too revealing clothes – like what the hell (If she was hot on the other hand…)? Totally not in my comfort zone and we are not together girl, you just happen to live in the next room. It feels so stupid then, having to stare at the wall while she’s talking to me and I have to text one of my friends to call me and get me out of uncomfortable and tight (or very boring) situations. I’m half tempted to buy her some decent covering wardrobe, covering everything and the face…just anything. Maybe a potato sack or something. The Shaiytan (shaiytan) is breathing down my neck (literally; muscle spasm) basically, but is that ALL YOU GOT MAN? THIS IS CHILDSPLAY!

To be continued…